The Past

They say the past is the past, but what if your past is affecting your present? That's my problem.

My infertility problems are a result of an illness. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with a moderate to severe case of Ulcerative Colitis. I was on many medications and eventually when the medications stopped working and UC was controlling my life, I had surgery. I was 17 when I had my first operation. I was given an ileostomy. My second surgery came a few months later when I had an operation to build a j-pouch. The next one came a few months later when I had a reversal to remove the ileostomy. I had a few minor surgeries after that. About a year and a half later, I had another surgery to get an ileostomy back. My UC had been so bad that they had to remove my entire large intestine and part of my rectum, so when I was reversed and living without an ileostomy, I had a lot of complications. A few months after this surgery, I went to emerge with what I thought was a blockage. I was told that I had a twisted bowel and needed emergency surgery to save my life. That was by far my worst surgery because I was cut open from my belly button to below my bikini line. Finally, May of 2012 is when I had what I hope to be my final surgery. I had surgery to make my ileostomy permanent...there's no going back now.

Through all of these surgeries, I developed quite a bit of scar tissue. So much so that my right ovary does not sit on my right side anymore. It hovers around my midsection and close to my left ovary. There's just no room for my Fallopian tubes to squeeze through an egg. Blocked tubes are something I have to live with. I can't say I've fully come to terms with the hand I've been dealt with infertility, but I'm learning how to cope. One day at a time.